5 Fears Of Pregnancy-Out-Of-Wedlock And How To Overcome Them
Pregnant Before Marriage?
1. Fear Of The Parents
Most girls are afraid of the flurry of judgment by the society if they become pregnant before marriage. Every parent wants what’s good for their child, so, for a daughter to come up to the parent and mention the word “pregnant” before the right time, you can understand why the parent would feel sad. Many girls overreact to the whole situation and resort to abortion to spare themselves the trouble. However, please understand that abortion is not a solution.
For daughters: From many experiences happening around us, there is one thing that stands out. The dust eventually settles down. Your child will eventually be loved and loved beyond measure by your parents, friends, the society, or your extended family; and obviously yourself. Therefore, in spite of the strenuous circumstances you are going through, it will be okay. Focus on the positive outcome; bringing a new life to this world is a blessing. Your child will be a source of joy and hope in your life. There are many who pay millions to try and have children.
For parents: As parents, it’s advisable to talk to your daughter on consequences of having unprotected sex, early marriage, effects of abortion, and contraceptives. This does not mean that you are encouraging your child to having sex, but it’s a way to instill knowledge and your inner voice in your child that everything has consequences. Every time they are about to make a move, they will always remember what mom/dad said.
2. Fear Of People Talking And Gossiping
In this world we are living in, people will always be judgmental. People will find negative things to say, even when there is nothing to be said.
For daughters: Talkers have always been talkers. Even if you are as perfect as the light, talkers are going to find something to say. Even if you had your child in the confines of wedlock, the next issue they will talk about is how you are bad for your husband or how you cook like aquarium stew. Take the new event in your life in stride; keep a calm head. Think of how you are going to take care of your child.
For parents: In case your daughter finds herself in such a situation (pregnant), try to encourage her. Let her realize that what she did was wrong and that she should be careful next time. Show her love and above all show support, even when the society is not supportive. Remember, there are two ways this can go. You can get angry and send her away from your sight, but you will have to bear a burden for life. Being away from your blood is like carrying a grudge that will be in your heart the rest of your life. It’s more painful to carry a grudge than to let it go. Your calmness will set a precedent on how the community eventually receives the new child.
3. Fear Of Losing Friends
Some friends love walking out on others when they have issues and some stick with you. If a friend takes off when you have a challenge, you now know that they were never true friends in the first place. Thank your God for letting you know which friends are not worth having early enough. If a friend is not meant to be there for you, they will never be there for you in future, so save yourself the trouble. Losing friends is a normal occurrence in life, I mean have you seen the way people have annihilated friendships over elections, sad!
For daughters: It’s not always what you think. A good, wise, friend of mine once told me, people respond to you according to how you want them to. He gave me a case where two people have a slight disability. One person chooses to hide and be embarrassed about it. What do you think when you see them trying to hide? The mind begins to notice something is not right. The other person who chooses to embrace who they are, is never viewed differently from any other person. The moral of the story is that you should love yourself and appreciate yourself first and people will respect, love, and appreciate you. Many times, you are just making up things in your head. Your friends probably never despise you or think less of you. You should go on with life as you would.
For parents: Parents support your children no matter how much they have disappointed you because you are the only people they look up to.
4. Fear Of Looking Older
Many people say once you have given birth, you start to look old. Some even say you are never the same. One question; and what if things are never the same? Have you ever seen any human being of old age dying looking like a 20 year old. What matters more is the level of content and happiness in your heart.
For daughters: That’s not the case; life can go back to normal if you have the right people around you. Stay positive. If you have to, go to the gym and revitalize your body. Even if your body does not change your mind should; so change will come to your life in one form or another.
5. Fear Of Being A Single Mom
Been a single mom does not mean that you cannot find a better half. You only need to understand what you want in life for you and your child. Anytime you are dating, always remember that your child comes first if you are a single mom. The guy should always take you as a package. There is hope; I have seen single moms getting good men who have their children calling them dad in no time. As long as you know your child is part of you, the right man will come into your life. Do not be ashamed of child or try to deny you have a child.