9 Traits of The You-Guy! My Guy! Type of Guy

You Guy My Guy!

It was a slow Friday night in an uptown club in Nairobi. I wanted to experience the monkeyshines of clubbing at an upscale bar; I hear they are now called sports bars. You are in a sports bar, if the screens show world sports on all screens; Formula One, UEFA Champion’s league, you get the drift. Sports bars here have more posh couches than there are those tall stools. I have always wondered why those stools have to be so tall. For short revelers, it is always a balancing act getting onto those stools. When it’s time to get down from the stool, you feel like you are about to go bungee jumping; especially when the alcohol begins to kick in.

That day, the main event was formula one. I do not know anything about formula one; except Lewis Hamilton. So, you can understand why I had a lot of time on my hands. The mellow beats emanating from the speakers, reminded me I was not in those ordinary types of clubs where the smell of sweaty armpits overpowers the smooth taste of your drink, or where the dance floor is a frenzy of bobbing heads doing the new hilarious dance – skylarking they call it?

The freshly brewed beer served from the bar conjured up a feeling of finesse to the whole affair. A quick look around could tell you that bottle service was the order of the day. Where do people get money to splash Ksh. 20,000 on one drink though?

As I sat there on the tall stool, I could not help but overhear different conversations. I don’t like eavesdropping, but that day, the next table was too loud.

“You guy! My guy! I am telling you that moti is fwaya. I did like 200 on Thika road,” one brash guy was narrating holding his drink from a disposable tumbler.

I have nothing against such guys; they are usually roho safi most of the time, if you get to know them.

The next guy replied, “You guy, my guy! I have to test run that thing.”

All this time, they had been discussing about how everything was lit.

“I am telling you maen! That party was lit !” one would say.

“You guy, you did not call me?” the other would say.

“Next time I got you bruh. I met this mama though…” the other would go. And on and on and on…


So what are the common traits of a “You-Guy, My-Guy type of guy?

Here you go.

1. Most of Them Drive a BMW, Merc or Sub

Merc means Mercedes and Sub means Subaru. Not all guys that drive those cars fall in the category, but a you-guy will never drive an ordinary looking car. Their cars are not cars, but not motiz.



Most weekends they will be out racing at 3am, and you will hear them racing down highways when you are deep asleep.


2. They Love Whisky

The ‘you-guy’ type of guy absolutely loves a certain type of whisky. They are fond of calling the drinks botiz, and it has to come with those bottle sparklers.


3. For The Love Of Suits

During weekdays, most of these guys look dapper! They love suits and always look sharper than sharp.



4. They Love Weekend Shorts

They absolutely love khaki shorts for the weekends. They pair that with a polo shirt and driving shoes. We are talking hush puppies or moccasins.



5. They Have Special Names For Ladies

The ‘you-guy’ will typically call ladies, mamiz. At times, their conversations are too hard to understand.



6. Deals Always Work

The ‘you-guy’ loves using words like “it came through” and somehow, deals always come through in their conversations. “You-guy you remember that ka-deal, it came through. I am rolling,” you will hear them say.



7. Everything Is Lit!

For the ‘you-guy,’ everything is always lit. The party was lit! The place was lit! The mamiz were lit! Everything!


8. They Love Sports

‘You-guy’ types of guys love sports; football, F1, etc.



9. They Take Everything Lightly

The ‘you-guy’ will typically take everything lightly except when they get down to work. They are good at their jobs. However, this is the type of guy who will get it lit, and go for an interview the next day.






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